Polygamy

Although there are statements in favour of polygamy, occasions may arise when it becomes even necessary as, for example, in the case of protracted and chronic illness of one's wife, or it may become expedient as in cases of great depletion of the male population after a war or sought after in the case of barrenness of one's wife. The trend of Its teachings, while legalising polygamy, is towards monogamy since the permission to marry more than one wife has been qualified with the difficult requirement that all the wives must be treated with justice, equality and equal affection. 

In actual practice, therefore, the custom of having multiple wives has disappeared from Muslim society. ] Economic pressures, the cost of maintaining more than one wife and the off springs thereof, their education and marriage, housing difficulties and the care-ridden and fast moving life contributing not a little towards its disappearance. In India, it was almost a luxury indulged in by Nawabs, Rajas, Taluqdars and the more affluent who did not struggle hard to earn their living, had ample time and leisure at their disposal, and could easily afford the cost of maintaining multiple wives and their children. With the disappearance of this class, the custom has faded out.

Polygamy has been practiced throughout human history. Almost all the Prophets of yore mentioned in Jewish and Christian scriptures and the Qur'an, with the exception of Christ, who did not marry at all, were polygamous. There is nothing sacrosanct in monogamy, for no religion prohibits polygamy. The injunction in Christian theology to the contrary are a later development and have nothing to do with the teachings of Christ. During the time of the Biblical revelations, polygamy was commonly accepted and practiced. It was accepted religiously, socially and morally. [The] Bible itself does not deal with the subject, for it was then a matter of fact, a matter of course. The Bible does not forbid or regulate it or even restrict it

At the time of advent of Islam, polygamy was common and deeply rooted in the social life. The women of the day accepted polygamy as easily as the modern woman favours monogamy. In the Arabian society of the day, women had a definite choice in the matter of marriage and at many places the matriarchal system prevailed.

The Quran did not ignore or discard the practice, but it could not be indifferent to the question or be tolerant to the irresponsibility and chaos associated with the practice. The Quran came to shape individual's life and the life of society on proper lines so that the individual could attain the goal of his life. Came the revelation:
 

“If ye fear that ye shall not deal fairly with the orphan wards under you (whom you marry or whose mothers you take as your wives) then (do not marry any of them, but marry women of your choice up to two, three or four : but if you fear that ye shall not be able to act equitably, then marry one only (from free women) under your charge. This will enable you to refrain from doing injustice." (Q. 4 : 3)

It is obvious that:

(1) To marry more than one wife is a conditional permission. It is not an article of faith or a matter of necessity.

(2) The permission has been given haltingly i.e., two, three or four but the number is not to exceed four at any time. Before Islam there were no limits or prohibitions.

(3) The second or third wife, if ever taken, enjoys the same rights and privileges as the first one. Equality between the wives in treatment, provisions and kindness is a prerequisite of Polygamy. This equality can be ensured by the inner conscience of the individual concerned.

(4) This permission is an exception to the ordinary course. It is to be taken as the last resort, the final attempt to solve some social and moral problem and to deal with difficulties.

(I) In some societies women outnumber men. This is especially true of industrial and commercial regions and also of countries that get involved in wars. If a Muslim society is placed in this dilemma and if Islam were to forbid polygamy, what would the unmarried women do? Where and how would they find the naturally desirable companion's help? Where and how would they find sympathy, understanding, support and protection?  The implication of this problem [is] not merely physical; they are also moral, sentimental, social, emotional and natural. Every normal woman longs for a home, a family of her own. She needs some one to care for and someone to care for her. 

Even from the purely physical point of view, the implications are very serious and we cannot ignore [the] otherwise psychological complexes, nervous breakdowns, social disgust and mental instability. 

I happened to take my wife several times to a very eminent lady doctor of Willindon Hospital while I was posted at Delhi. She had not married till the age of forty or forty-five. She used to lose [her] temper [with] almost every lady patient, to scold her and pass biting remarks. We happened to visit her again after about six months. She had married in the mean time. She was a different person altogether, genial and courteous. She could understand and appreciate the problems of the lady patients and could give them advice in affectionate terms instead of withering remarks.

Women in such a situation do not usually transform their nature or lead an angelic course of life. They feel they have a right to enjoy life and if they cannot have it in a legal and decent way, they never fail to find other channels, although temporary and risky. where the man of their choice happens to be a married man, more often than not wives are deserted or neglected, children forsaken and homes get broken. The male companion or professional lover may maintain her for a time and shower gifts [up]on her and other expressions of passionate romance. But what assurance has she got? He can walk out on her any day and neither the law [nor]  morality or conscience will help her. Morality was given the go-by when the intimacy had started, conscience got warped when they indulged in a relationship against all regulations of God and the law does not recognise any intimacy except with one's wife. The deserted woman runs about in the vicious circle hunting or hoping to be hunted. She cracks down ultimately and is forgotten.

On the other hand, no-one can pretend that all married men are happy, successful and satisfied with their marriage[s]. Whether the fault lies with him or with his wife, he will look for some other kind of companionship and consolation from somebody else. If he cannot get it through honest channels, he will get it by other means involving immoral and indecent intimacies; illegitimacy, abortion and other endless problems

Islam does not permit hypocrisy, infidelity and adultery. It prescribes capital punishment for the adulterer and the adulteress and a flogging of hundred stripes on fornicators in the interest of a clean society bound to morality. It offers to the unhappy dissatisfied husband to marry and live with a second wife openly in a responsible way instead of resorting to deceit, cunning, falsehood, hypocrisy and pretence. and debasement of moral fibre. It helps the unmarried woman to satisfy their needs, realise their longings and fulfil their legitimate and natural desires. The first wife will resent the introduction of a second wife and she will have to adjust herself without losing any one of her rights. But we have to think of the other women as well.

She also needs security and satisfaction or must she obtain it in a clandestine manner debasing her dignity, honour and reputation and committing gross sin and evil.

(II) A wife can be barren, incapable of producing children. In such a situation a man has three alternatives:

(a) to suppress and forgo his natural longing for having children.
(b) to divorce his childless wife through a course of separation, adultery or otherwise,
(c) to adopt children and give them his name.

With all the three alternatives discarded, Islam permits a man in such a situation to remarry and to maintain the childless wife as well without jeopardizing her rights and privileges. If the man does not feel the absence of children so much and is happy with his single wife, that will be the best course.

There are cases and times when [the] wife is incapable of fulfilling and giving the husband the affection, care and satisfaction he desires. It may be due to long illness, confinement or any other cause. If the husband can put up with it, let him live with a single wife, but he must not resort to immorality, deception, hypocrisy and infidelity. If he cannot exercise restraint and cannot control himself, Islam permits him to have another wife. If the first wife is confronted with a situation that the man would be illegally and immorally associated with acme one else or can retain his dignity, morality and responsible conduct by having another wife she would certainly choose the second alternative  and accept the situation.

Although it is risky and contingent on many prerequisites, polygamy is far better than negligence, infidelity, hypocrisy. insecurity, immorality and indecency . The Muslim stand is this: Under normal circumstances, monogamy is not only preferable but is the rule. Otherwise, polygamy may be considered and applied if necessary.

As stated at the very outset, polygamy has almost disappeared from Muslims of India and many other countries. A thorough survey conducted by the Department of Political Science of the Aligarh Muslim University had found that polygamy was rare in Muslims and its percentage was much higher in other communities.

I have not touched the subject of plurality of the wives of the Holy Prophet of Islam -- a subject in which the orientalists of the past and hostile critics of Islam delighted to wallow. Those interested in having the facts, can read a chapter devoted to it in my book, "Prophet Muhammad and his Mission."